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Thursday, May 13, 2010

It's a new dawn, it's a new day.

Another day. Nothing special planned. As usual, random thoughts of what I needed to get accomplished at work. I parked my car and walked toward the nursing home while immersed in my thoughts. I looked at the sky. My thoughts were abruptly interrupted as I noticed the clouds, big, billowing clouds. 

The clouds are as dark as my life felt in the past two weeks, I mused. 
The dark clouds in the sky reminded me of the dark pain of grief floating around me. No sunshine. Chance of, really likely, emotional storms. I felt empty with my mother’s passing, and the celebration of last Sunday’s Mother’s Day ended up being just another gloomy, dark day for me.  That evening, I shed a torrent of tears that would have completely emptied an ocean.  

As I lamented, a soothing breeze suddenly gently swirled about my body. A pleasant air caressed my face. I noticed  the color of the green trees and the facility’s gardens looked more vibrant. I wondered why I didn’t notice it the day before. 
I started to have a good feeling.  

“It’s a new dawn, it’s a new day...” Michael Buble’s song --one of my favorite songs-- started to play in my head. As if my prayers for the gloom to end had been answered, I started to feel peace. I couldn’t understand much why or how. It was just happening right there, at that moment. My heart turned to the Lord to thank Him for that good feeling.  

After the breeze lifted my gloom, I viewed the day from a different perspective. I became joyful, and I wanted to help others feel good. Wonderful occurrences happened that day. I received a couple of sympathy cards in the mail. One from my church, and the other from a the medical social work department of a local hospital. Both cards contained beautiful messages, signed by several people. I viewed the signatures as if they were Angel’s fingerprints.  

It was a productive day. I received a positive response from a local University about hosting students. I had new residents admitted to the facility. I met new family members. One particular family member was tearful, voicing distress at the situation of his loved one. When I began to talk to him, I noticed how strange the words flowed from my mouth, like a river of comfort and compassion. I don’t even know how much I said, but I noticed that by the end of our conversation, he was calmed. I was certain he left the facility with the confidence that his loved one was in caring hands.

That day became a special day. I wanted to share with others that peace and contentment that I felt in my heart, brought to me by the gentle breeze in the parking lot that morning. I sent flowers to my husband, to thank him for being there for me when I felt like succumbing to sadness. I had lunch with my friend Barbie, and let her know how much I appreciated her, and I gave her a gift, a stone engraved with words of wisdom. I spent time with my son, talking about his college finals and grades. I went with my husband to my step daughter’s school concert where she played the viola. I let her know how great she performed.  

I also thought of my mother. I recalled the most wonderful times we had together. I reflected on her likes and dislikes, praised her talents and skills, and contemplated the challenges and frustrations I know she faced. I have asked God to let my mother know that she was very much appreciated and that she will be loved forever.   

It was a great day: God has given me inspiration and guidance. He has given me peace of mind. 

I feel blessed because He has comforted me.


Nezzy (Cow Patty Surprise) said...

Oh sweetie, I knew this Mother's Day would be hard for you but your mother will always live in your heart. I'm so happy you were able to seize the day and turn it around. That is what your mother would want for you.

God bless and have a beautiful day!!!

Miley said...

Reading the story of your day, especially the part about not knowing what you said but it being just what the family needed... You are an inspiration.

Mary Aalgaard said...

Thank you for sharing the journey of your day. Despite your own gloom, you spread sunshine onto others. Blessings as you grieve. Let caring arms comfort you.

Saumya said...

Beautiful post and blog. You write so well and truly inspire others through your posts.

Terri Tiffany said...

Oh Doris, I've been thinking about you and when I read this post I was so happy to see how your ministering to others ministered to you as well. I am glad you are moving ahead and can think of your mom like you are. Blessings!

Isha Shiri said...

Shalom Aleichem!
Good post.

I'll have a few days away, Hannah will be born. She needs a lot of me now.

In recent days I posted about:
- Psalm we recite and singing at birth to babies, "Shir LaMa'alot - A song of ascents", psalm 121.
- The holiday of Shavuot (Pentecost) - Hag Matan Torateinu or "Festival of the Giving of Our Torah and Hag ha'Bikkurim or Festival of the First Fruits.
- "Letter to Jerusalem", by Rabbi Yosef Y. Jacobson. A letter explaining the importance of Jerusalem to the Jewish people.
- Re-posted "The Meaning of the Word Tzedakah", do justice to the needy through charity is our obligation.
- The TikkunTree Project - a project to "repair the tree of life" using the knit dress for the weapons of peace, promoting integration of people from around the world, women and men, Arabs and Jews, point by point.
- Tikkum Olam, why we should contribute to "repair the world."

Anyway, I tried to leave messages for all to enjoy during my absence.

Thank you participate in my simple Blog.
See you soon.

Unknown said...

Hi Doris,
Thanks for following my blog, I hope you like it. I am glad your mother's day turned out to be a good one. Sometimes I too feel down in the dumps, but something as simple as reading my bible, or a positive quote can lift my spirits. I encourage you to check out these sites.

http://givesmehope.com : If you read through you will find a few very inspirational short quotes and stories.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SjbX6mDnMwM : A great video about Nick Vujicic. This man is amazing!

May God give you many blessings for days to come!

Mandy Krzywonski
(My Life as Mandy... With Epilepsy)

Linda said...

Hi Doris,
Thank you for sharing your beautiful post today.
Your Mom will always be with you in your heart.
I am praying for you and love following your blog.
Have a lovely day.

Nezzy (Cow Patty Surprise) said...

Just poppin' to wish ya a great day!!!

God bless :o)

Ann Best said...

Such a tender post. Yes, God does comfort on those dark, cloudy days.

Unknown said...

So many ways to help brighten people's lives by caring acts. You just did!

Bica said...

This is a beautiful post. I like to stand in the wind and think of the "feel" of the wind as a "hug" from those departed. May seem weird, and maybe it is, but try it.